Depression: Are You Covering Up Emotions?
In recovery, it is important to identify our ‘covers’ — what we use to hide emotions that we do not want to address properly.
One of the struggles I’ve been dealing with this past week has been:
Not COVERING UP emotions…
IN case you’re not familiar with me, this has been one of my life long challenges.
I became “A COVERER” at the age of 14, when I started stealing alcohol from
my parents after overhearing my father was dying from cancer.
(I wasn’t supposed to know.)
I didn’t tell anyone what I knew – just started using alcohol as a way
to not feel. (I hated the taste of it!)
Luckily, I won an award in basketball the end of my freshman year that got me
to stop drinking & start focusing all my attention on basketball.
Wow! I’m remembering what it was like walking down those bleachers in
the gym to accept the “most improved player” award on the varsity team.
I’d been drinking, which I did often during the school day, and kept saying
to myself: ‘Don’t fall – everyone will know you’re buzzed.’
If you’ve ever walked down bleachers, you know they are hard enough when
stone cold sober, let alone intoxicated!
I say basketball saved my life!
I wen to college on a basketball scholarship to a small school in Missouri.
It just hit me – that too was “A COVER“!
I grew up in California but ONLY looked at colleges all over the rest of the
country…the farther away the better!
Once I stopped playing basketball, a new “COVER” showed up:
Fortunately, I was a very consistent exerciser so my weight stayed the same.
You could tell how stressful my day had been by how much chocolate
When my higher power put me to work in a psychiatric hospital 25 years
ago – I have no doubt it was to start my journey to wellness so I’d be
able to share it with you!
The purpose in writing about all of my LifeTOOLS here every week (all
164!) is to give you the tools you may need for your journey to wellness!
Use these LifeTOOLS to become a PLW – a person living in wellness!